What does it take to build a strong foundation for a Nigerian marriage? You probably must have seen these lines before in the holy scriptures ‘If the foundations be destroyed, what can the righteous do? It is a rhetorical question because the intention is not to get a response but to ponder on the meaning of the words.
The foundation of a house determines the structure to be laid, and so is everything else that has to be built or establish on planet Earth. When it comes to the subject of marriage, the foundation is just as important as the happiness of the home, long-lastingness, and productivity of the wedding.
If you are single reading this post, you are privileged as you will get these life lessons before taking your vows with your partner in the future. Without further ado, let’s delve into the subject: building a strong foundation for a Nigerian marriage.
A Strong Foundation For a Nigerian Marriage: Should it matter?
I particularly love the choice of words in this blog post, not just because I am happily married, but because the marriage is in the context of my beautiful country, Nigeria.
In Nigeria, so many things are priced and valued, such as marriage. It even gets more interesting when the couples are faith-centric and approve of specific landmarks within the marriage institution. Being that Nigeria is a diverse nation with various religious, cultural, and modern perspectives about marriage, it is therefore important to be built on a strong foundation.
What Makes a Marriage Strong?
Before I started this article, I have carefully done my research on what makes a marriage strong. The truth is I wasn’t disappointed at all with all the tips and recommendations I got. They include effective communication, shared values and goals, and all that. While all of these are essential ingredients to make a successful marriage happen, they can never make up for the strong foundation of a marriage relationship.
I don’t mean to woo you with sweet words or confuse you or something, but without the institutor of marriage, the foundation will always be faulty. What this means is that what makes a marriage strong is when it is built on the principles of the creator of marriage, God Almighty.
How Do You Build a Strong Marriage?
Building a strong foundation for a Nigerian marriage, or any marriage at all, involves a combination of many things. But five key things are responsible for a strong union in marriage. They are:
Many couples may only regard spirituality for the official wedding ceremony by calling a cleric to read them their vows. But spirituality begins when the two avail themselves as available man and woman. Spirituality here means that the couple acknowledges the Almighty God, (the author of marriage), allowing Him to authenticate their union and prosper their relationship as an extension of His divine will. A lot of marriages may enjoy the superfluity of a happy home, as a result of mutual love and understanding but the bedrock of a strong foundation in marriage is according to God’s standard.
Understanding is the heartbeat of couples’ relationships. It is the ability to live peaceably with your spouse as a result of your knowledge and conformity to your partner’s beliefs, character, and way of life. Understanding is a major responsibility for partners who intends to build a strong and happy marriage. For a Nigerian marriage, personal beliefs, education, background, exposure, and past experiences can influence individual life patterns, hence, a partner should be able to understand the individual to build a happy and healthy relationship together.
Love is the natural disposition partners have for each other. It is the common ground where partners love themselves to want to live with each other, learn, build, and establish a life together. Love is tough work and shared responsibility. It is not one-sided, where only one partner shoulders all the burden of love. Exactly! Love is labor. It is labor because it sometimes includes hurts, pains, sacrifices, and most significantly, patience.
4. Financial Literacy and Transparency
Studies reveal money issues are the leading cause of divorce cases today. In Nigeria, building a strong marriage foundation includes the financial well-being of intended couples. Since finance is a crucial subject for couples, one top marriage-killing issue is the lack of financial fairness or transparency. Where couples enjoy financial literacy, management, and transparency, they tend to enjoy a financially hitch-free marriage.
5. Intimacy and Romance
Romance and intimacy help to produce the spark in a long-term relationship. When couples enjoy active sex life with mutual understanding and cooperation, they may not have to face some common challenges surrounding the marriage. This happens as a result of openness, oneness, and intimacy each partner allows to be part of their union.
Marriage is ever new with unending lessons for couples. It is not so much what you learn before marriage but things you choose to do for the marriage to work. So many unions couldn’t last a few years, not because they lacked love or intimacy but because crucial areas such as spirituality, understanding, and patience were thrown into thin air. Building a strong foundation for a Nigerian marriage, as any other is to follow these key steps and learn, relearn, and unlearn for a prosperous marriage union.
I hope you got value as I look forward to your views in the comment section.
Wishing you all the best in your relationship.