Cheating in a relationship is also referred to as Infidelity. This is the act of being unfaithful to a spouse or other partner.
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Cheating typically implies engaging in sexual or romantic relations with someone other than one’s significant other, breaking a commitment or promise. These 2023 cheating statistics will amaze you.
- 16% of married individuals reported engaging in an affair
- 76% of Americans believe that extramarital affairs are morally wrong
- 20% of married men and 13% of married women admitted to cheating
- 53.4% of affairs happen with someone the individual knows very well
- 47.7% of cheaters admitted it to their partners within a week
- 40% of adults who have cheated are now divorced vs 17% of those who never cheated
What do people think about cheating overall? Unsurprisingly, even with the rise of open relationships, most people are not on board with cheating. However, there is some variation based on geographic location and culture.
Most Americans felt that affairs outside of one’s marriage were “always wrong.” Women were more likely to feel this way. Interestingly, however, the vast majority of those who had engaged in cheating considered their actions justified.
Worldwide, different countries have different opinions on whether affairs are inherently wrong. The French are the most accepting, with many not considering it a big deal, followed by the Spanish. On the other hand, more people from Turkey and Palestine found cheating always to be unacceptable than anywhere else.
Some countries Cheating Statistics and Believe…
- 76% of Americans believe that affairs are “always wrong”
- 40% of the French don’t consider cheating morally wrong
- 27% of the Spanish don’t think extramarital affairs are inherently wrong
- 94% of Palestinians and Turkish individuals believe that cheating is always wrong
What Counts as Cheating in Relationships?
In one study, the vast majority of both men and women agreed that emotional infidelity could occur independently of sexual infidelity. However, a smaller portion of men thought that the opposite was true. Women are also more likely to consider an emotional attachment with someone else as adulterous behaviour.
There was also a lot of discrepancy in opinions on what constitutes emotional cheating among both men and women. However, there are some commonly agreed-upon themes. One was attending important events with someone other than their partner. The other was being dishonest to one’s partner about who they’re spending time with.
Research has found that women tend to become more upset over an emotional affair than men do. Yet, both men and women found sexual affairs equally troubling.
What else counts? Most women consider holding hands a form of cheating. The vast majority of people agreed that spending too much time with another person who you have feelings for is also cheating.
- 88% of women and 79% of men believe that emotional infidelity can occur independently of sexual infidelity
- 71% of women and 54% of men believe sexual infidelity can occur independently of emotional infidelity
- 80% of women and 66% of men consider an emotional attachment with someone else cheating
- 16% believe that attending important events with another person is cheating
- 15% consider lying to a partner about who they’re spending time with as unfaithful
- 71% of women and 56% of men consider hand-holding a type of cheating
Gender
Who cheats more – men or women? There is definitely a gender difference when it comes to infidelity, and married women cheat less overall. According to the General Social Survey (GSS), 20% of male respondents and 13% of female respondents admitted to cheating.
Notably, however, this gender gap varies significantly by age. In older adults, men are significantly more likely to stray.
Conversely, in younger age groups, this gap is quite small. In fact, in the 18-29 age range, married women are actually slightly more likely to cheat, as seen below. While this quickly reverses, men and women cheat at relatively equal rates through their 40s, and the gap widens after that.
- 20% of men and 13% of women admitted to cheating
- 24% of men and 6% of women over age 80 reported infidelity
- 24% of men and 16% of women in their 60s said they’d cheated
- 10% of men and 11% of women in the 18-29 age range reported cheating
Age
Research suggests that the infidelity rate increases in older age groups. Specifically, individuals in their 50s and 60s are the most likely to cheat. However, this rate declines significantly after this age range. Married women are most likely to cheat at 45 whereas married men reach their cheating peak at 55.
Interestingly, Ashley Madison, a website for married individuals looking for affairs, found that most members join the year before a big milestone birthday. In other words, individuals are more likely to consider cheating at 29, 39, 49, and so on. This could be because of a potential life crisis as they age.
Another data point of note is that women who marry later in life are less likely to commit adultery than those who marry at a younger age.
Race
When it comes to race, black individuals have the highest rate of infidelity. This discrepancy is largest among males. Hispanics were found to be the least likely to cheat, while white people fell in the middle. Researchers are not sure why this is the case, but it could be due to cultural and economic differences.
- 22% of black people report cheating
- 28% of black men report engaging in extramarital affairs
- 16% of white people admitted to cheating
- 20% of white men admitted to the same
- 13% of Hispanics said they engaged in infidelity
- 16% of Hispanic men reported cheating
Geographic Location
Another demographic that correlates with cheating rates is geographic location. Research has found that people living on the west coast were more likely to be unfaithful than those living in the northeast.
Interestingly, those in small, rural towns were also more likely to engage in extramarital affairs than those living in cities. This is somewhat surprising since they’re also more likely to get caught. One possible explanation is that people in smaller towns are more likely to get bored.
When we look at infidelity rates by country, we see a big discrepancy between cultures. The highest infidelity rate is found in Thailand, followed by Denmark. Notably, these are not the same cultures that find infidelity the most acceptable.
- 18.4% of those on the west coast reported infidelity vs 13.16% in the northeast
- 20.1% of those living in smaller towns reported cheating vs 15.5% of those in cities
- 51% of Thais reported cheating
- 46% of people from Denmark reported cheating
Religion
While there is no known correlation between infidelity and religious denomination, there is a correlation with religious behaviour and how devoted one is. 14% of married people who attended services at least a few times a year admitted to cheating, compared to 19% of those who rarely, if ever, attended religious services.
Political Views
The data on the political demographics of cheaters isn’t quite clear-cut. Some studies have found that 18% of Democrats and 14% of Republicans report engaging in extramarital affairs.
However, Ashley Madison reports that 60% of their members are Republican. They also note that these members tend to prefer other Republicans when looking for an affair partner.
Education Level
Most studies have found that there was no significant correlation between infidelity rate and education level. However, one study found that those with the highest and lowest levels of education are the most likely to have an extramarital affair.
Data from Ashley Madison confirms that members are more likely than the general population to have higher degrees. 3% of members hold a PhD compared to only 0.7% of the population as a whole. Also interesting, 53% of members say they have a higher degree than their spouse.
Other research indicates that education level only has an impact on the risk of men cheating. Married women were equally likely to engage in cheating regardless of their education level.
It is important to note, however, that correlations with education level may actually be better explained by differences in economic status since the highly educated tend to have higher income levels.
Economic Status
What role does financial well-being play in infidelity? Research has found that individuals with higher income levels are more likely to be unfaithful. This could be due to both increased opportunity and less fear of being found out. If a person is well-off, the cost of losing their spouse may not be as devastating.
On the other hand, a partner who is financially dependent on their spouse is less likely to cheat. This makes sense since the costs of the affair are higher if they are caught and face a divorce.
Another study found that married women in the upper class were 8% more likely to cheat than those who fall into middle or lower-class categories. However, this study found that men were equally likely to cheat regardless of income level.
Genetic Components of Cheating
Believe it or not, there may be a genetic predisposition to adulterous behaviour. Research has found that people who have certain types of oxytocin and vasopressin receptor genes are more likely to be unfaithful.
In fact, 40% of women and 62% of men with these genes have participated in infidelity. This makes sense since both of these hormones are associated with feelings of trust, love, and sexual bonding.
Limited research also suggests that there may be some genes that can lead to a lower attachment to one’s primary partner. Naturally, this can make that person more likely to stray.
Personality Traits
Certain innate personality traits have been found to increase the risk of having an extramarital affair. Particularly, individuals who score high in extraversion and openness to new experiences, but low in agreeableness are more likely to cheat. This was found consistently across different cultures.
Other studies have found that those who score high in narcissism are more likely to stray. This could be because they are less worried about their primary partners’ feelings, and they may be less concerned about the potential of getting caught.
Another study found that people who score high in the personality trait of “sociosexual orientation” were more likely to engage in affairs. This trait means these individuals are more open to casual sex than the general population.
Studies have also found that couples that share similar personality traits were less likely to be unfaithful. This makes sense since partners that share similarities may have higher levels of marital satisfaction.
Childhood Experiences
One’s childhood and family background also influences the likelihood of adulterous behaviour in marriage. 18% of those who did not grow up with both parents admitted to infidelity compared to 15% of those who had traditional, intact families.
Both men and women are more likely to commit adultery if their parents were unfaithful to each other. Women are more likely to cheat if they were sexually abused as children.
Lastly, an insecure attachment style can predict cheating behaviours in later life. Attachment styles are first formed with a caregiver during childhood, based on the quality of that relationship. If the child doesn’t feel secure in that relationship, they are likely to carry certain patterns over to romantic relationships later in life.
Who Are People Cheating With?
Now that we know the demographics of infidelity, let’s take a look at who married people are actually cheating with. Studies have found that more than half of affairs are with someone that the cheating spouse knows fairly well. It seems that infidelity is often a crime of opportunity.
In fact, another study found that many cheating men admitted to having an affair with someone they knew from work. More than half of cheating women admitted to having an affair with an existing friend. Men were significantly more likely than women to cheat with a complete stranger. Some men and women also reported cheating with an old flame.
Research has found that married men are 12 times more likely to have paid for sex at some point in their relationship than married women. This combined with data on their likelihood of cheating with strangers points to men being more likely to seek out opportunities than women.
The majority of those who reported infidelity only ever had one affair partner. So serial cheating may be less common than previously thought.
- 53.5% of affairs happen with someone that the individual knows well
- 44% of cheating men had an affair with someone from work
- 53% of cheating women had an affair with a friend
- 27% of men had an affair with a stranger vs 9% of women
- 9% of men and 14% of women cheated with a former partner
- 12% of men cheated with a sex worker vs 1% of women
- 59% of those who cheated, only had one extramarital partner
The Pandemic and the Rise of Online Affairs
Adultery dating website Ashley Madison reported a 10% dip in membership at the beginning of the COVID-19 lockdown in 2020. However, several months in, membership actually increased higher than before the pandemic. They report that many of their members are now engaging in virtual affairs.
Similarly, a 2021 study found that 14.1% of married people had engaged in a virtual affair. Another study found that between 18-25% of Tinder users are already in a monogamous relationship. Many of these users reported using the app to find a virtual extramarital affair partner.
There still isn’t much research on virtual infidelity. This will be an interesting area to further explore scientifically to see if the reasons behind this type of cheating differ from traditional affairs.
Why Do People Cheat?
There are many reasons why married people may cheat on their spouses. So many, in fact, that it would be impossible to cover them all here. Let’s take a look at the most commonly reported reasons in recent research.
One of the most common reasons for infidelity is dissatisfaction in the marriage. One study found that people who considered their relationship “very happy” were less likely to stray. However, as seen below, other studies have found that people in happy marriages still cheat.
Women are more likely to engage in infidelity in order to fulfill emotional and intimacy needs, as opposed to physical and sexual needs. Men are more likely to engage in affairs in order to try specific sexual activities they haven’t been able to participate in with their spouse.
Research has found that there is an increased risk of infidelity in relationships where there is a low level of communication and self-disclosure around sexual needs and preferences. Likewise, it is common for men to cheat when they feel less assertive with their primary partner. Cheating could be a way for them to explore this side of themselves more freely.
Both men and women who have cheated reported that they experienced low romantic love in their marriages. They also reported boredom, a lack of emotional support, and low frequency and quality of sex with their spouse.
Other commonly cited reasons for cheating include low self-esteem and a desire for attention, and, in some cases, anger and a desire for revenge. It is also common for people who cheat to report a lower level of personal commitment to their marriage.
- 56% of cheating men and 34% of cheating women said that their marriage was a happy one
- 44% of men vs 11% of women said they have had an affair solely for the sex
Other Risk Factors for Infidelity
Apart from these reasons, a few other risk factors may help to predict infidelity rates. For instance, individuals with depression are more likely to cheat than those without. Excessive drinking, especially in men, can also increase the chance of infidelity.
Individuals who have been the “other person” in an affair are also more likely to cheat themselves in the future. This may be because these individuals are more accepting of infidelity in general.
Marriage Length and Infidelity Statistics
One study found that the length of a relationship presented a risk factor for cheating. This is probably explained simply by probability; the longer a marriage continues the more opportunities for infidelity there are.
Another study found that each year the marriage lasts increases the chance of a man’s cheating by over 6%. This might also be explained by men’s increasing likelihood of cheating as they age.
The most common time for infidelity is after seven years of marriage, on average. However, men are more likely to engage in affairs after the 18th year of marriage, whereas women tend to remain faithful after that seventh year.
Do Cheaters Own Up to It?
What happens after the affair? Do spouses usually find out? In most cases, the cheating partner confesses to their spouse. The most common reason they finally came clean was guilt.
According to a study by Health Testing Centers, they also tend to admit it fairly quickly. Many tell their spouse within a week of the cheating incident. The vast majority admitted it within six months.
Nearly half of cheaters also told a friend about their infidelity.
- 22% of cheaters report that they never told their partner
- 47.7% came clean within a week
- 26.6% admitted the affair within a month and 25.7% confessed within six months
- 47% report guilt as the reason they finally fessed up
- 47.9% admitted the affair to a friend
Divorce Statistics After Infidelity
Infidelity has been long-known as the leading cause of divorce. One study found that more than half of those who divorced ended things right away, while others tried to make it work before the marriage eventually dissolved.
Interestingly, one study found that the unfaithful partner was more likely to ask for a divorce than the one who was cheated on. This could be explained by the reasons they were cheating in the first place if they were unhappy in the relationship.
Of those who stayed together, almost half had to follow new rules in the relationship, such as sharing passwords or avoiding certain friends.
Men who cheated are more likely than women to remarry. However, it should be noted that men are more likely to remarry after a divorce in general.
- 40% of adults who have cheated are now divorced vs 17% of those who never cheated
- 54.5% broke up right away, while 30% tried to make it work but it eventually ended
- 47.5% of cheaters said they had new relationship rules they had to follow
- 37.5% of men and 57% of women had to agree to avoid certain friends going forward
Affair Statistics
So what does infidelity actually look like? Men are more likely than women to engage in a one-night stand. Apart from that, research suggests the average affair lasts about six months. However, other studies indicate they frequently last two years.
So, are there ever successful relationships from affairs? While there are cases of affairs that result in marriage, only 20% of them make it past the five-year mark.
Once discovered by the spouse, many affairs still last another six months to two years3. This is regardless of whether the primary relationship dissolves.
Serial Cheaters
Is the saying “once a cheater, always a cheater” true in practice? Well, cheating once certainly increases the likelihood of cheating again in future relationships.
In fact, one study found that individuals who engaged in infidelity in previous relationships were 3.4 times more likely to do it again in subsequent romantic relationships. This same study also found that partners who knew or suspected a past partner was unfaithful are 2-4 times more likely to enter a new relationship with an unfaithful partner.
How honest are past cheaters with current partners? One study found that 76% of individuals who’d been unfaithful in past relationships admitted it to their current partner.
Miscellaneous Infidelity Statistics
Here are some additional statistics you should know. Most shockingly, nearly half of the cheaters don’t use adequate protection.
Also upsetting, one study found that men are actually more likely to cheat when their wives are pregnant. However, they are less likely to be unfaithful after the child is born.
Another thing to look out for? More than half of men and women report that they have attempted “mate poaching.” Mate poaching is when someone tries to seduce a person already in a committed relationship with someone else.
Also interesting, it’s fairly rare for both spouses to be cheating simultaneously. This is somewhat surprising since you would think that if one party is unhappy enough in the marriage to cheat they both might be more likely to feel this way.
- In 4-7% of cases of extramarital sex, both partners were having an affair
- Cheating is more common during the summer months
- 50% of those having a sexual affair reported using a condom
- Men are more likely to cheat when their wife is pregnant
- 53% of women and 60% of men report that they have tried mate poaching
- Men are 25% less likely to engage in an affair if they have children under the age of 18 at home
- 56% of those having an affair use their regular, personal phone for communication
- 10pm is the most common time to communicate with an affair partner
Now that you know the facts on cheating, you can more easily spot the signs of a cheater. Some of these statistics may seem alarming, but keep in mind that the majority of people stay faithful when in a committed, monogamous relationship.
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